Summer’s coming! It’s the time of year to feel good and get down to the beach. Unless like me, you prefer a crispy cream over a carrot and a night of bingo over a treadmill. I’ve twice now signed up to a gym, averaging about 3 sessions in as many months. It’s not that I don’t try. I just need to work on my execution. I’ll even be motivated occasionally and make a deliberate effort to go, before this happens; I pause at the front door, look back and see the sofa lit up like a commercial, the kettle chimes for tea, suddenly the idea of panting sweaty on a rowing machine sounds about the worst thing ever. Ugh.
I’m that person. The one who steps off a spinning bike with a New Year’s resolution fixed in mind, walks away with a lunchbox of celery; I’ve even made friends, and I’ll jovially promise my return with an enthusiastic smile, that alas forever escapes me.
Luckily, there is a solution; all of them alarmingly effective and all entirely embarrassing if witnessed. Thanks to these outlandish techniques, bingo could be the healthiest thing you do all day.
So how can you tone up by playing bingo sat on your bum?
Bingo does something very vital to healthy living. It engages your brain! While playing bingo you are in a competitive environment, so already the neurons in your brain are ready for war! This means that they are energised and active. Now we just need to get physical.
Take Deep Breaths!
Concentrating on deep breathing can do wonders for your physical and mental health. Not only do you get more oxygen to the brain, you can also increase your lung capacity. That’s good news for pretty much anyone. There are psychological and therapeutic benefits of deep breathing and breathing can be a fundamental aspect of most meditation exercises. Simply try breathing in through your nose for four seconds, holding your breath for four seconds, and then letting it go through your mouth for four seconds. Don’t get too light-headed!
Squeeze your Abs!
Tensing your abs is a quick way to a killer stomach. Luckily, this exercise can be done sat down. You may be surprised how quickly it becomes tiring. Try squeezing your abs until the minute ticks up on your desktop clock. For the crazy among you, can you last a whole bingo game?
Clench your Bum!
At the risk of looking constipated, this one is a quick way to a Kim K. Simply squeeze for 30 seconds at a time! Now where are those old jeans?
Roll your Shoulders!
This is a great exercise to do while sat down. Alternate by rolling your shoulders forward and back. Count twenty rolls. Every other definition of rolls is a no-go. Feel the burn?
Sit on a Stability Ball!
This one requires a prop. But making a chair an exercise device is very effective! It won’t take you long to work out some killer positions. Try gently lifting your feet off the ground, don’t fall!
Tap your Toes!
It’s almost cardiovascular. Tap your toes as quickly as you can. Although we aren’t generally too fussed about how well-toned our toes are, you will quickly feel a burn spread throughout your legs.
The invisible Chair!
(Warning: Gets real painful real fast.) This is for the athletic. Lift yourself up from your chair and hold the sitting pose. Ouch!
Handshake yourself so that one hand is facing upwards and the other is facing down. Now simply pull! This is a great exercise for your upper-body. Feeling strong?
Bro Fist the Air!
Punch the air! Multiple times. It’s bingo after all!
Now you can amaze your friends with a new toned physique. And reply to their gawping expressions with, ‘I get my workout from playing bingo!’